The Intersection of Performance and Trauma: Why Education, Ethics, and Boundaries Matter
The terms performance and trauma get thrown around a lot these days. We hear about peak performance in business, sports, and personal development, while trauma has become a buzzword in mental health conversations. Although these terms have been around for a long time, beyond the trends these concepts are deeply complex—and doing the work in these areas requires guidance from someone who is not only experienced but also educated and ethical.
I understand this firsthand. I hold a Master’s degree in Sports and Performance Psychology, and I’m currently working on my Doctorate in Psychology with a specialization in Trauma. My work focuses on how people perform under pressure, how past experiences shape their ability to function, and how they can develop the mental skills needed to thrive. While performance psychology helps individuals optimize their abilities, trauma work involves careful, ethical navigation of healing from past wounds. Merging the two requires a nuanced approach—one that acknowledges both resilience and vulnerability.
And this is where things get tricky.
The Importance of Working with the Right People
Whether you’re working on mental performance, trauma recovery, or both, choosing the right professional is crucial. There’s a significant difference between someone who is truly qualified to guide you and someone who uses trendy jargon but lacks the necessary education or ethics. A good coach, therapist, or mentor should have:
Proper Education & Training: Not just personal experience but actual, research-backed knowledge.
Ethical Standards: Clear boundaries and practices that prioritize your well-being.
A Client-Centered Approach: It’s about your growth, not their ego or personal agenda.
Unfortunately, not everyone you encounter—whether a boss, friend, or even a supposed mentor—will have your best interests in mind. That’s why developing strong boundaries is essential.
Navigating Boundaries When You’re with the Wrong Person
At some point, you may find yourself in a relationship (personal or professional) where you recognize that something feels off. Maybe you feel pressured, manipulated, or undervalued. Maybe your well-being is being compromised for the sake of someone else’s agenda. Here are some tactics to help you hold your boundaries and exit these situations when necessary.
1. Recognize the Red Flags
You feel drained or anxious before and/or after interactions.
Your feelings, concerns, or experiences are minimized or dismissed.
You’re pressured to share more than you’re comfortable with.
Your boundaries are repeatedly ignored or challenged.
The person positions themselves as the only solution to your problem.
If any of these sound familiar, take a step back and evaluate the relationship.
2. Set Clear, Direct Boundaries
Boundaries don’t require explanations. You don’t need to justify protecting your well-being. Some examples:
With a boss: “I am happy to stay late occasionally, but I can’t continue to work overtime every week.”
With a friend: “I value our friendship, but I’m not comfortable discussing that topic.”
With a mentor/coach: “I appreciate your guidance, but I need to take a step back and process on my own.”
A trustworthy person will respect your limits. A manipulative or toxic person will challenge them.
3. Create an Exit Plan
If the relationship is unhealthy or unethical, start planning your exit:
Professionally: Begin looking for other job opportunities, networking, or documenting workplace issues if HR intervention is needed.
Personally: Reduce interactions, set communication limits, and focus on supportive relationships.
Therapeutically: If a coach, therapist, or mentor is crossing ethical boundaries, seek a second opinion or report the issue if necessary.
4. Seek Out the Right Support
Surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries and want to see you succeed without controlling you. Whether it’s a trained professional, a supportive friend, or a mentor with real expertise, the right guidance makes all the difference.
Final Thoughts: Doing the Work the Right Way
Healing from trauma and improving performance both require dedication, but they also require working with the right people. Ethics and education matter. You deserve guidance that empowers you, not someone who takes advantage of your journey.
If you’re navigating a challenging relationship—whether with a boss, friend, or mentor—remember: Your boundaries are valid. Trust yourself. And never hesitate to remove yourself from a situation that isn’t serving your growth.
