Reclaiming My Power: My Journey Through Post-Traumatic Growth
About two years ago, I was diagnosed with complex PTSD (technically PTSD since CPTSD isn’t in the DSM yet…), and slowly, piece by piece, I began to see how it was affecting my daily life. It wasn’t just about the past anymore; it was about how those old wounds were playing out in real time—patterns like the relentless “hamster wheel of validation,” repeated burnout, and a deep sense of unfulfillment.
At first, I didn’t even realize what was happening. I thought I had clear boundaries and a strong sense of self. But when I looked closer, I saw the truth: I was constantly seeking validation from coworkers and peers because I had never been taught to look inward for that sense of worth. I didn’t know how to establish and maintain clear boundaries, and it was exhausting me.
The Turning Point: Reclaiming My Power
The moment that changed everything wasn’t some grand, life-altering event. It was a simple decision to walk away from a conversation that was making me feel small and powerless. Instead of staying and absorbing the negativity, I stood up and left. For the first time, I didn’t cry myself to sleep afterward. Instead, I felt elated—weightless. I had taken back my power, and it was a feeling I had never really known before.
That single act of standing up for myself wasn’t just a boundary—it was a declaration of self-worth. It exponentially impacted my journey through post-traumatic growth. I finally felt like I was on the other side of my trauma, able to look back at it for what it was rather than letting it define me. I had reclaimed control, not just over that moment, but over how I responded to challenges moving forward.
The Long Road to Growth
This journey has been 20+ years in the making—years filled with therapy, self-discovery, and countless small steps toward healing. For the first time, I feel more present in my body, rather than dissociating or just getting by. I’m stronger both physically and mentally, and I’m grounded in who I truly am.
One of the most significant lessons I’ve learned is that standing up for yourself has to be intentional—not just reactive. It’s not about being combative or proving a point; it’s about standing in your truth and demanding respect, not from a place of anger but from a place of authenticity.
Owning My Boundaries
This shift has changed everything. Setting strong boundaries isn’t about controlling others’ behavior—it’s about controlling my response to it. When someone is challenged by my boundaries, I understand now that it’s their issue, not mine. I no longer take on the weight of other people’s discomfort or opinions, and I focus on valuing the voices that truly matter.
The Freedom to Be Myself
I used to carry the burden of perfectionism, afraid that one misstep or awkward moment would define how others saw me. Now, I embrace being quirky, weird, and unapologetically myself. If I say something silly, I don’t dwell on it. I don’t worry like I used to because I’ve learned that real power comes from authenticity, not perfection.
This journey through post-traumatic growth has given me the confidence to be real and vulnerable. It’s made me realize that the people who matter will stand by me, flaws and all. And the best part? I’m no longer afraid of being imperfect—I’m just proud to be me.
